Wednesday, April 11, 2012


I have been thinking a lot about happiness lately. What is it. Is it something you feel emotionally or is is a chemical release in our brains for something physical or for an object.

Tomorrow is my birthday and perhaps that is why I am a little emotional today and doing some reflecting. I consider myself a happy person. I try to live my life positively. I do tend to keep the emotional things to myself and just deal with them on my own. Perhaps that is my Scandinavian background or perhaps it is the fact that I am the eldest.

I have always felt that if you don't try you will never know. I have always tried to do things to please myself without worrying about what others thought if it did not effect them.

I have always been the positive one, the one everybody figures never needs a shoulder to cry on because I have been the one with the shoulder.

This has been my philosophy of life. Make a cup of tea, sleep on it, be positve and it will look better tomorrow.

I am proud of myself that I have always taken up the cause, mostly for animals because they need a voice. I feel that if you don't make changes no one will do it for you. I am a take action kind of person. No one can make you happy if you are not happy yourself. Things, although they can give you happy moments don't make you happy.

I appreciate my life everyday. It is just that sometimes I tend to carry too much inside and it is days like this that break me. I feel everyone around me's pain and it rips me apart when I cannot do anything about healing that pain, including my own.

Usually words like these help me and I have been trying really hard today to cheer up. I have a great life, I have a family who loves me. Is it possible to be in a room full of people and still feel alone? I am not depressed by any means that is not the problem. I just need to find my bliss again.

If you are a reader of my blog you know that I have suffered the loss of both of my beloved dogs in the past 4 months. We decided to wait a year before bringing another one or two into our lives but I have found it so incredibly lonely here that I have been looking at adoptable dogs on Kijiji. Shelter dogs are on there as well as dogs who people either can no longer care for or just plain don't want anymore. I know that this is a big contibution to my sadness. I read these stories and I know that I cannot have them all and it just makes me cry. I hold every face of those dogs in my mind. My husband tells me to stop looking but I can't help it.

You also may remember that my son and daughter-in-laws cat Kaysar went missing. He has still not returned although Natasha did see him. This is another thing that makes me so sad. Not only is he out there somewhere and needs to come home but I hate seeing my daughter-in-law and son so unhappy.

Sometimes you just have to get it out to someone to feel better. I am sorry if this seems like a "down" post because I am usually very upbeat, but it has made me feel a little better. Maybe the sun will shine on my birthday, maybe Kaysar will come home, and maybe some of those lovely dogs I have been looking at will find forever homes.

Images from PINTEREST.


  1. I think you have had a lot going on and it is understandable that you feel this way. I was telling your DIL that we had a cat who disappeared for months and then came back. Similar sort of thing, there were sightings of him. Cats are so independent though. One moved in with my friend, she already had two of her own and a dog. She knew who he belonged to and kept taking him back, but he has decided he lives with her now, and they have all had to accept that!
    I hope your Happy comes back for your birthday :)

  2. Take care and remember you always have friends out here in the blogosphere to vent to.

    I've been wondering about Kaysar. I'm glad there has been a sighting. J

  3. Oh Sue, I know how you feel
    I get really affected by animals, if I read a sad news story it sticks with me and really makes me feel pain inside.
    I am so so sorry you are feeling this way and it must be so hard losing both of your dogs. I think it's so important people adopt rescues, there are so many lovely little souls out there needing love
    As for your daughter in law and son, I really feel for them. When Sisco was missing it destroyed us.
    Hopefully Kaysar is just being spoiled somewhere and will come home soon
    Sending love and hugs

  4. Im sorry you are feeling down my fried. Its ok to.Sometimes we just feel this way and cannot explain it. I hope n pray you have a wonderful day tomorrow.Happy early birthday from me. I wish I could give you a gift! I am glad you made this post cause sometimes I feel down too for no darn reason!Hugs to you from Texas.

  5. Ah, my friend, this post rings so true. I totally understand how you feel and I can so relate to being in a crowded room and feeling alone.

    I hope the blues wash away quickly and that you have a wonderful birthday tomorrow!! Do something that makes you HAPPY!!!

    Sending you a big birthday ((HUG)) and my boxer girl Sophie is sending you boxer smooches.

  6. This is a real and touching post... thank you for sharing. Happy almost birthday!

  7. I completely understand how you are feeling, especially about the animals.You are not alone. I have been working for animal rights for over thirty years. The things I have experienced are forever seared in my brain. It is a dark cloud that sits over your head no matter how happy your life is. Sometimes it is hard to accept that happiness when you know of so much sadness. I do know it is far better to care too much than not at all. We all need a shoulder now and then, it is good to let it out. Just know that you are a beautiful soul who has made a difference in so many lives, and I hope you can take comfort in that when you feel down. Our shoulders are always here for you, should you need them.

    Sending love and hugs,

  8. Oh honey, you are only human. You cannot carry the weight of the world, no matter how strong a woman you are. And believe me, I KNOW you are a true warrior!

    I think sometimes the soul calls us inward just to sit and listen or be and our "happiness" calms into contentedness and there is nothing wrong with that.

    When you have suffered the losses that you have, it is not only normal but needed to refresh and recharge. You can't give to others what you do not feel first. Please feel free to lean on me anytime. I will be here for you. Hugs, Mina