Thursday, May 17, 2012


We have all done it at one time or another. You don't feel like working that day, you really don't want to go to a certian party or you just don't want to hurt someones feelings. Yes, we have all told a little white lie now and then.

There is a fine line between being honest with someone or telling that little white lie to protect their feelings but when is it appropriate? If you are out with your friend trying on clothes and that dress looks just terrible or makes them look awful do you tell them. I think you can in a nice way say something like " You would look great in this one but maybe that's not your colour." Now if they have already bought a dress that does not suit them what do you say? I don't think you should say how horrible it is, maybe just tell that little white lie and tell them it looks great.

Now this is another dilemma completey different. Have you ever had a friend who just slapped on the makeup? Whether she was young or older she just did not know where to stop? I did. Many years ago I had a friend who just put on so much eyeliner you thought she was in an opera. She was very pretty and in her 20's but thought she looked great. I did not want to hurt her feelings so I went to the trouble of hosting a makeup party, do they still do those, and asked the makeup artist beforehand to pick her as the model. Now, she had a makeover and looked amazing but it took her a while to let go of the eyeliner wand. Eventually she did. But really what do you say to someone you care about when they ask you before you are going out on the town " How does my makeup look?"

I was shopping the other day and there was a woman of a certain age there who was dressed like a 19 year old. The skirt was way too short, the crop top and belly button ring, well you know. She was very attractive and had kept in shape but was really dressed like her granddaughter may have. All I thought was "why does her family or friends not say something?" I really do not know what I would do in this situation. She obviously thinks she looks great but she would look so much better dressing a little more age appropriate and I don't mean orthepedic shoes and track suits. Have you ever been put in this situation where a good friend or family member just does not have a clue how bad their clothing looks? I really am at a loss with this one.

We have all seen those Wedding programs where everyone hates the dress and is quite vocal about it. Now here is somewhere I completely think you have to use the White Lie. Unless the dress is so horrible or too inappropriate for words, just tell the bride-to-be if she loves it you love it, after all it is her wedding not yours.

The not so cute baby is a slippery slope. I have actually heard people comment to the parents about the lack of cuteness of their newborn. How can anyone do that? Everybody thinks their baby is the most beautiful baby in the world so please hold back and just oooh and aaah over the little sweetheart.

You will never lose a friend faster than if you insult their hair. Woman are more sensitive about getting a compliment on their hair than on their clothing. Bad style, bad cut if not asked do not give an opinion. My father always said if you have nothing nice to say, say nothing at all.

Everyones taste in interior design is different. I bought two lovely sofas years ago and redid my whole room around them. Now, I have studied design and work very hard on my home. Not to blow my own horn but I am pretty good at it. The same friend with the eyeliner dropped by with her mother for a visit and had not one good thing to say about anything in my room. As a matter of fact she ripped it to shreds. Her mother was embarrassed and all I could think was "this from someone who painted their kitchen peach and beige and glued paper flowers to the door fronts and thought it was lovely enough to be in a magazine." I alway find something nice to say about a room or new piece of furniture. After all it is something someone has gone to the trouble to pick out a piece or decorate a room and they are proud of it.

So all in all I don't think a Little White Lie is a bad thing if it is saving the feelings of someone you care about but I do hope that in certain situations we all have someone who loves us enough to tell us to lower our hemline & get rid of the layers of makeup, but in a nice way.


  1. My mum used to work with a woman who told her that one time an engineer had called at their house to repair something. Her son was sitting in his highchair, and the man looked at him and said, Mrs, that's the ugliest baby I have ever seen! My mum was horrified hearing this story, but the woman said, well actually he was ugly, so she had to agree! Very dangerous saying that to a mother though.

  2. For the life of me I just don't understand why people can't just be themselves and everybody just accept and even relish the differences ... when we can, there will be world peace. I can so appreciate everybody's way to say and express who they are ... it won't be what I would do ... but what a boring world this would be if we were all the same in that regard. And, complements don't cost a thing and you really can find something nice to say if you look hard enough and not be judgmental. I have a sister that never, never, never complements anyone and looks for them herself. I often wonder where that came from.

    Thanks for this delightful post ... you did a great job.

    Tolerance and Happiness to all.

  3. LOL Susan, this is a very touchy subject, kudos to you for tackling it!! We've all done it and we will all continue to do it, I certainly agree that SOMETIMES a little white lie is the kindest thing to say! Have a great day (and I really mean that ;O) Deb

  4. It's one of those grey areas in life. I white lie to my kids regularly to keep them from knowing things that may screw them up. Usually, I try to find something truthful, but non-offensive, to my sensitive friends. My close friends, however, are comfortable with my honesty, because they are honest, too. I love your selection of pictures in this post.

  5. Great post!!!!

    Hope you're having a great week!!!


  6. Oh the dilemma! When young I used to be brutishly honest without thought to other peoples feelings, then one day my best friends mother gave me food for thought. Her words were "Have you ever considered that a lie is not a lie when it is a necessity?". I realized then there are times when a little white lie is preferable to the naked truth when peoples feelings are involved.
    Hugs Alveen

  7. I so agree, Sue. There are just some things that I chalk up to personal taste and think are probably none of my business anyway. But if it is someone I love or am really close to, I try to come up with a very tactful way of telling them something. And my entire family knows that if they ask me right out...they will get the truth, though never in a mean way. And it goes both ways. If I ask, I want the truth too. ;-) Now I would NEVER include this in weddings, people's children or pets. Your advice is quite sound, my friend.